More Parenting is Not Always Better Parenting

Overprotective parenting is becoming increasingly common and it is harming today’s youth in the short run as well as later in life. Overprotective parenting has immediate effects, such as unhappiness and unpreparedness, in addition to much more dangerous long term effects, such as the inability to cope with stress and failure. The reason this parenting epidemic has spiraled out of control so quickly is because in the eyes of the parents, they are doing what is best for their child. Parents believe that by sheltering their children from the dangers and disappointments of adulthood, they will have a happier, safer childhood. This belief couldn’t be further from the truth, as this style of parenting leaves children without the proper skills and coping mechanisms for when they enter the “real world.” Moreover, overprotective parenting often leaves children in a worse mental and behavioral state when entering adulthood than a less intrusive style of parenting would.

  

Among the most damaging aspects of overprotective parenting is a parent’s perpetual concern about their child’s safety. The safety of today’s youth is by no means insignificant, however, there must be a threshold between good parenting and destructive parenting. Unfortunately, this boundary has become increasingly distant as parents have become increasingly fearful regarding potential dangers. Ellen Sandseter mentions in an article published by Time Magazine that “Our fear of children being harmed… may result in more fearful children and increased levels of psychopathology.” Professor Sandseter’s comments instill that while safety is important, an overreliance on it will leave children with long term problems far worse than the actual threat of danger that was trying to be avoided. Additionally, a childhood void of any risk taking or dangerous experiences, which teach critical survival skills, can leave a child completely unprepared for adulthood and the inevitable dangers they will face as adults. Adolescence is the time for children to learn what they can and cannot do, what’s safe and unsafe, and how to be an individual. When a child is deprived of these learning experiences due to overprotective parenting, they are unable to develop the coping mechanisms necessary to circumvent problems they encounter later in life.

 

Perhaps the most destructive result of overprotective parenting are the effects it can have on a child’s ability to process and cope with stress. Stress presents itself in two very different ways, either as acute, or short term, stress and chronic, or long term, stress. While the former is a relatively trivial and in many ways beneficial form of stress, the latter can lead to anxiety, depression, and other psychological disorders (Psychology Today). The goal of parents should be to prevent chronic stress not stress entirely. When a child is stressed about taking a test that they didn’t study for, for example, the child learns that in the future if they don’t want to be stressed out, they better prepare for the exam. In this scenario the acute stress served as a lesson for the child. Exposure to acute stress throughout one’s childhood builds necessary coping skills and helps to prevent children from experiencing chronic stress later in life. A study referred to in an article published on Psychology Today found that depriving rats of stressful stimuli caused the rats to display signs of being both hyper-aggressive and antisocial. Of course parents want their children to have the most stress free adolescence as possible, but they must be aware of the overwhelming benefits of acute stress and the detrimental effects that arise when such stimuli is denied. It is imperative that overprotective parents focus on eliminating chronic stress by encouraging episodes of acute stress throughout their child’s youth.

 

In addition to the negative effects discussed in the previous paragraphs, overprotective parenting can instill a multitude of fallacies and falsehoods regarding adulthood in the eyes on a child. An essay published on the Michigan State University Extension website discussed the problems children run into as adults when they are subject to “helicopter parenting.” Overprotective parenting can severely affect the behavioral psychology of a child as they transition into adulthood. Changes in behaviorism caused by overprotective parenting include a tendency to lie, a lack of motivation to do the “right” thing simply because it is “right,” and the inability to communicate effectively with peers and superiors (MSU). When a parent is consistently demanding that you can’t do this or that, the child loses the ability to communicate with authoritative figures and instead turns to lying and manipulation to circumvent the strict rules laid out by the parents. Overprotective parents give children no freedom and in turn are less likely to step out of their comfort zone to do the “right” thing. Although these shortcomings appear to be negligible, when culminated they can grievously affect how the child will behave as an adult.

 

While it is not hard to understand parents’ reasoning for their overprotective tendencies, the trend is ultimately damaging to the development of today’s youth and must come to an end. Whether it be a lack of life experience, psychological ineptitude, or detrimental behavior, the negative effects of overprotective parenting are not hard to spot in both today’s youth and young adults alike.